Money is money, no more. It is simply a means of exchange in our economy. It has no inherent good or bad qualities and no power to bestow comfort, security, or status – unless you give it those powers. If you have ever wondered why you feel anxious about money, obsess about money, or set pie-in-the-sky goals for money? It is because money holds power for you.
Many of us have been led to believe that if we had a million dollars or more, somehow life would magically be filled with greater freedom, inner peace, and a sense of ‘arrival’. When you believe that money has transformative qualities to lift and fulfill, then you are at its mercy.
What if you could make peace with money? It could come and go without upsetting you, you could have as much or as little as you needed at the time and it would happily appear when you asked it to – just like a great friend who always shows up for you.
What warps and thwarts our relationship with money? Here are four ways we begin to feel uncomfortable with, even intimidated by money, or people with money.
1. What we observed growing up – what parents did and said about money. Money was never discussed in my family so I began to wonder if it was a secret or something to be embarrassed or worry about.
2. Your own upsetting experiences with money. When you’ve been cheated, had money stolen, lent un-returned money or had a significant financial loss. I call it PTFD – post-traumatic financial distress.
3. Your own hidden agendas with money. When you expect money to deliver safety or status, verify your worthiness, or prove yourself to someone. When you don’t achieve your money goals or experience setbacks, you feel even more distraught.
4. Your beliefs about money and you. Innocently, you can have invisible thoughts about money. You may unknowingly believe you don’t deserve money, money is a burden, or if you had money it would not be right to keep it.
Making friends with money empowers you to be comfortable with your fees, charge extra for services outside the scope of the agreement, not be concerned about what others charge and create as much as you want without an agenda.