What are you doing to fit in?
Among our greatest fears is that of being rejected, or more precisely – shunned. In earlier times, to be cast out from one’s family or tribe would have been life threatening – people needed to stay together to survive. This is not so now but to compound this dilemma, our most compelling need is for connection and identification with community.
What would you be willing to do to fit in – be it family or a social, religious or professional community?
- Be miserable and unfulfilled because others are
- Hang onto unwanted weight so as to not offend others who have extra pounds
- Not earn the money you are capable of so as not to put others off
- Give up on a dream of being or doing something meaningful for you
- Adopt limiting beliefs and ways of judging people outside the group
- Not marry or be with a person who your family would not approve of
- Act in ways so as to not “rock the boat” or upset others
Friedrich Nietzsche said it best – “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself”.
It takes enormous courage to be true to ourselves. We will experience self doubt, rejection (of self and by others) and uncertainty as to what there is for us beyond our current familiar environment. Getting clear about what feels true for us, moving past fears and trusting in oneself is the only way to personal freedom.
I have found EFT to be especially effective in quelling apprehension while claiming authority of our own lives. We can use EFT to shift our fears of being different and having alte