Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparison in itself is not right or wrong, it’s how you fare in the comparison.  Starting early in life, you learn to discern what is deemed good or bad, acceptable or not acceptable.  It is an aspect of your conditioning meant to help you navigate life. You might call this judgment and indeed you are judging all the time.  What can be problematic, however, is how the judging and comparing plays out for you.

There will always be those who are smarter, more experienced, richer, thinner, taller, stronger, more poised, more elegant, better looking, bolder, younger, better dressed, more assertive, make more money, better at….you name it.  ‘

Would it be possible to make an ‘observation’ where you notice that someone appears to be more self-assured than you without making yourself less than?  Without the ‘story’ and inside thoughts “I don’t have what it takes” or “I’ll never attain that level of poise” or “That person has an unfair advantage”.  Could you use the observation as an opportunity and ask yourself “I wonder how I could see myself as self-assured?” “What is it that has her appear confident to me?”  What can I learn from him about myself?”

Watch too when you deem someone “less than” you.  This reflects your own insecurity and inability to see people as they really are – gifted and talented in their own right, doing their best with their current understanding of themselves and life.

This might take some practice as you catch yourself making judgments that undermine your confidence or artificially boost your self-esteem at the expense of others.   Your feelings work to guide you.  A disempowering thought will have your feel contracted or de-energized.    An empowering perspective, on the other hand will have you feel love, respect and appreciation for yourself and others.