Believing that Someone or Something will have you feel Safe, Lovable or Good Enough

It is natural to seek validation from others – after all we are all inter-dependent and do need each other to survive in a complex world.  We sought out and received approval from parents, teachers and friends growing in a way that had us feel liked and safe.  Perhaps you had a group of colleagues or a work situation that had you feel included and valued.  Maybe you purchased a beautiful new car that boosted your confidence through admiration from friends.

You may have discovered that individuals and situations cannot always be counted on.  People are fickle and moody, situations change, the things that had you feel good about yourself become less reliable as a source of personal affirmation.

In the end, the most trustworthy and reliable source of confidence is you.  As you assume self-authority you look to yourself for recognition, respect and pride.   Owning your own abilities, giving yourself credit and claiming your worth makes you immune from the unpredictability of outside sources of self-esteem.

Best of all, you no longer need to worry what others think and expect of you.


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