Seven Things that Undermine Confidence – Thing Six

Apr 2019

Believing You Need to Get it Right or Perfect the First Time

When we were toddlers there were lots of starts, stops and failures as we learned to walk, talk and get what we wanted.  You blubbered, you fell down, you grabbed for a toy and missed due to undeveloped hand-eye coordination. You may have attempted to ride your bicycle down the basement stairs, crashed and considered it again the next day.

In no way did those misfires diminish your confidence and resolve to try again, unless there were other consequences.   Perhaps you were punished for venturing too far from home, you were reprimanded for wading into the puddles after a rain or you were shamed for making a slip-up that was deemed inappropriate by an adult.

Over time we begin to have our own verdicts about success and failure and to develop concern about how others view our achievements or blunders.  These judgments step in as barriers that get in the way of taking risks and trying new things.    As an adult, you may decide not to learn to skate, or swim or ride a bicycle because of “what others will think of you”.  You give up the notion that the learning process is just that – a learning process.  It is highly unlikely you will get it right or perfect the first time or few times.   Ask the Wright brothers.


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