I was speaking with one of my coaches yesterday about my struggle to find the ideal name for my new signature coaching program. We were using Emotional Freedom Techniques to release my angst and when we came to the phrase, ‘good enough’…. I hesitated.
I realized that for me good enough is not good enough. Due to my insecurities and occasional bouts of self-doubt, I can find myself attempting to over-compensate by working hard to create something that is bang-on, flawless, special, distinctive or exceptional.
One of the strategies I use in order to cope with my fear of being judged, criticized or mocked is to attempt to create perfection. This often takes a lot of extra effort, and can be distressing when I realize I’m devoting unproductive energy for little benefit. Part of me believes that this striving for perfection will keep me safe and another part sees that I am just plan wasting time.
I don’t believe that I am the only one who struggles with the notion that ‘I must be exceptional’, just to be okay. Many accomplished individuals who experience Impostor feelings encounter this belief. Being ordinary feels like a threat to my ego which continues to demand more effort, more achievement and more perfection.
Now if you get feedback that your ‘good enough’ is not good enough from someone who has the expertise and is in a position to advise you, that is another matter. Now you must resist the temptation to defend yourself, make excuses or skirt the issue.
This takes equal amounts of courage – to be open to learning, as it does to accept that right now, this is the best I can and will do.