What does Authentic mean to you?

Mar 2021

I was asked the question in response to a question I had asked about how to deal with emotions that can have me feel so uncomfortable I feel panic. In the moment between considering her question and my response, something went ‘thunk’.   I freely admitted “YES”,  It is a problem for me to feel uncomfortable, to essentially be afraid of my feelings.  However, something else happened in that ‘thunk’ moment, I had a profound insight.   I realized that if I could be okay with my discomfort, no matter how intense or how long it lasted, I could do anything I wanted to do in life.

Any discouragement, disappointment, fear, impatience, frustration or angst could all be taken in stride.   I immediately understood that distressing emotions would hold no sway over my capacity to accomplish whatever I set out to do.  Any feelings that arise in me are coming from my own biased, insecure or ‘disaster’ thinking.  I could sit back and watch the drama unfold without getting pulled into it.  At every moment I can know that at my core, I am fine, with the understanding that feelings are temporary.

It felt like a moment of pure freedom, a revelation that since feelings are illusions, although they certainly feel real in my body, any thoughts of failure, rejection, embarrassment, shame or guilt could simply be experienced without the sensation of panic.  I don’t need the feelings to be gone immediately, numb them with food, drink or shopping, or desperately find someone to talk to.

I could simply ‘wait it out’ knowing that my default setting is calm and with calm comes clarity.  I can fall back into a peaceful state of mind trusting I will return to my true nature without having to stress or worry.   Having faith that inner peace and insight is always available makes life so much less fearful and a lot more fascinating and fun.


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