If you are human, you have insecurities. No one grew up in a perfect environment with perfect parents. Even if you had the Dali Lama and Mother Theresa for parents, you could still have felt abandoned when they went off to travel the world to spread their work and messages.
In his book Self-Coaching, Joseph Luciani, Ph.D. writes “Children are ill-equipped to cope with, much less make sense of, early traumas, conflicts, misunderstandings or losses. When children feel out of control and vulnerable, they resort to any strategy that offers relief: tantrums, whining, sulking, hiding, whatever works. These are primitive tactics designed to reduce vulnerability by gaining more (perceived) control.”
“Over time these rather diffuse tactics become solidified into familiar personality patterns such as worry, perfectionism, avoidance, manipulation or hostility. What begins as random attempts to ward off insecurity wind up becoming habits that alter your natural personality while diminishing the quality of your life. When you recognize that your insecurity has a distinct voice is the moment you begin to understand that you have a choice: you can choose not to listen. Differentiating your voice of insecurity from your healthy thinking is the first step to a more mature, liberated, healthy life.”
I have discovered that it can be difficult to distinguish that insecure voice. We tend to believe that all our thoughts are “true” including ideas like “I just had to do it, even though I did not want to”. The insecure part of you responds as if you have no say in the matter and can keep you stuck in a pattern of feeling helpless.
Emotional Freedom Techniques is a remarkable tool for transforming the personality patterns and beliefs that underlie self-limiting thinking and feelings. When you use EFT to neutralize the emotional charge surrounding “I can’ do anything about it”, the thought can be released in order to make way for a greater sense of power and authority in you life. Can can decide to “do something about it” if it is a decision to stop letting it bother you any more.