“Setting goals is the first step to turning the invisible into visible”.
– Tony Robbins
This all sounds well and good, and simple, but it isn’t – there are the issues of goal ‘ambivalence” and goal ‘trauma’. In her book Tapping into Wealth, author Margaret Lynch writes: “A goal trauma typically occurs after you want something very badly but it falls apart after you did everything you could to make it happen. Not only does your dream not come true, but you also experience painful loss and feel like a failure”. This disappointment and self-criticism can set you up to trust yourself less, trust the ‘universe’ less and be more skeptical that anything is possible. Read below for the 5 goal setting traps anyone can fall into.
5 Goal Setting Traps Anyone Can Fall Into
All of this can make goal-setting more tentative and challenging. Will we set goals? Can we believe our goals? Here are five traps that anyone can fall into setting goals:
- Resistance to Set a Goal
I personally have experienced a reluctance, even fear to set specific goals, especially regarding my business. Every business course going emphasizes the importance of setting SMART goals – how many sales calls each day, how often to blog, how many networking events to attend. When we don’t achieve our own intentions, we can feel embarrassment, even shame that we didn’t measure up or follow through.
- Goal Too Vague
When we are unsure that we can create what we really want, we might be tempted to settle for some vague, undefined goal like “I want to earn more money, or to feel more confident or to lose weight”. Since none of these have any measurable qualities, how do you know if they are realized? The vagueness protects from disappointment and let-down.
- Goal Dependent on Others
Maybe you want someone to pay more attention to you, or you want a promotion or you have a goal for your partner to clean out the garage. Having the goal contingent on someone else’s decision leaves you vulnerable to the person or situation over which you have little control. If you want a promotion, it would be more effective to set action goals like I am going to talk to my boss and ask him or her what I could be doing to be eligible for a promotion.
- Set up for Failure Goal
I used to teach aerobics at a popular women’s health club. Each January a number of new members would join the classes offered. Over time I noticed that the women who proclaimed that they were going to work out 5 or 7 times a week, often were the ones who quit coming at all after a few months. Better to set a smaller goal – work ou twice and a week and become an overachiever when you can manage three times a week.
- Goal has Hidden Agenda
Hidden agendas are often inherent in goals like “I want a million dollars”. I would ask, what will the million dollars buy you? Typically, is it to acquire stuff that we have been led to believe with give us a sense of self-worth, belonging, success, significance, recognition and proving ourselves among other more fundamental human needs. Better to set goals that are meaningful – like funds to take my family on vacaion, or to get the renovation done in preparation for a new addition to the family.
Find more helpful articles here: https://marlenecameron.com/your-mindset-matters-and-steps-to-turning-your-thoughts-around/